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Bless Bruce Tharpe
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I added another subscription service to my monthly toll.
But while these matches are old and feature classic wrestlers, I'm not sure if the entire library at launch nor the expansions are truly...classic. And while I KNOW there is no way that all of these matches are great and many are probably not even GOOD, the product as it stands is terribly exciting and for the last two months, I've enjoyed watching things here and there before bed.
But now I want to take the deep dive. Now, I want to review everything that has been posted. I know a lot about old wrestling, but I haven't actually SEEN a lot of old wrestling, hence, this blog. I'm not an expert, I'm missing a lot of context in these matches, but I want to have some fun and YOU can join me. It's $8.99/mo at NWAClassics.com and even with as little as I watch it currently, it's been worth it. I'm guessing during this project - I will continue to feel that.
I'm starting at the beginning, as things have been posted, and working my way forward. Here we go:
1. Andre The Giant Interviewed by Paul Boesch (1977)
Watch Here
Watch Here
My list of most likable celebrities probably goes something like this:
1. Shaq
2. Andre The Giant
3. Patrick Stewart
I don't have an exhaustive Excel spreadsheet documenting my thoughts on the matter, but interviews like this one, photos like this one and the fact that he is a literal giant and had a blast being so (in public) just make me love this dude so much.
First things first, Boesch is a CLOSE talker. Like, Andre is a full huge head and some neck-meat taller than ol' Paul in this interview, but Paul is RIGHT. UP. IN. HIM. The conversations is a really humanizing interview for someone so unlike the rest of humanity, though it's stuff that I'm familiar with by just loving Andre and his whole story. At one point, the camera moves out verrrrryyyyyy slowly on a jib, which is pretty funny. Can't help but think that some backstage hands thought it artistic to have a moving camera during an interview.
As this goes on, it's not really an interview per se, but just Paul Boesch re-telling Andre's stories with some stock Andre sound bytes. Paul is clearly stoked to be sanding next to the legend. Not the most sensitive or tactful guy, but one in awe - as we all would be.
2. Andre The Giant Vs. Tank Patton (1/2/81)
That's about the extent of it.
Andre is huge. Patton looks like a every other big dude from the 80s, and his left arm is in a cast. Like a lot of these old NWA matches, this is 2/3 falls. Early on, Boesch tries to call the cast a "protective orthopedic appliance" and then hints that it might be a little bit fishy. At the 3 minute mark, Tank Patton bounces off the ropes and runs into Andre's butt as he is bending over and bumps all the way out of the ring. Got a chuckle from me. Andre wins the first fall by DQ after Tank hits him with his cast and knocks Andre loopy. During the 2nd fall, Andre blocks another blow from the cast and uses his strength to cause Tank to hit himself, getting a solid "NICE WALLOP" from Boesch. Wallop, that's a word we need more of. Andrew does a 2-foot stomp on the cast when Abbot is down, causing him to roll out of the ring and be counted out. Those heels man, always getting what they deserve.
It's a pretty slow, plodding match that doesn't really have any moves, nor fire. It's Tank trying to cheat, Andre usually avoiding it. I like seeing huge wrestlers go at it, so it's good for that entertainment, but not much of a match. 1.5 stars.
3. Barry Orton Vs. "Leaping" Lanny Poffo (5/25/84)
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Watch Here
The "Other Orton" vs. The "Other Poffo" in what is described as an "amazingly great match". Here's what is great: Barry Orton's hair. It's this huge mop of long blond curls that just bounces everywhere, a real joy to watch.
This match is announced by Bruce Tharpe and someone named Jeremy. So it's modern commentary over these old matches, which is a thing that I guess we can look forward to. I don't know who the other guy is, but it was a trip the first time I watched this match and heard the announcers talking about Randy Orton and Macho Man. Anyway, Lanny is RIPPED in this match. I hated Lanny in all incarnations in WWF/E and haven't watched any Memphis stuff so I don't know what he is capable of, but he is ripped here. Barry is ripped too, but I'm mostly just checking out his awesome blond Terry Gordy hairdo.
The first third of this match is Lanny putting Barry in an armbar. I love a good armbar and I love working a single body part, so it wasn't a big deal. Barry eventually gets out, puts Lanny in a front facelock and this his own armbar after pulling his hair to get him grounded. The crowd gets HOT at this. Barry pulls his hair a few more times, and is finally caught by the ref. Barry rules. The actual work in this match is kinda bogus, but the character work of Barry as a real piece of shit heel is great. Hope there is more of him. Lanny tries a fiery babyface comeback, does the worst springboard splash you've ever seen, gets Barry's knees in his chest and then gets hit with a pretty solid shoulder breaker. Barry Orton, ladies and gentlemen, my new favorite wrestler. Enjoyed this a lot during the back third. 2.25 stars.
4. Hector & Chavo Guerrero Vs. Ted DiBiase & Steve Williams (Bandolero Death Match) (7/12/85)
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Watch Here
I love all 4 of these men. DiBiase is about the best heel in the world at this point and him and Dr. Death are the NWA Mid-South tag champs. Houston LOVES Los Guerreros and NWA Classics has a bunch of stuff featuring them, so hopefully that brings me some excitement in the future. This match is a "bandolero on a pole" match, so whoever gets the belt covered in bullets gets to whip the other team? I don't know. I've heard of stranger gimmicks, I guess.
The thing is: I almost always hate matches involving poles. Why? Because they seem to never happen the way they are supposed to. This match is no exception. The bandolero is supposed to be at the top of the pole, falls off, has a maintenance worker and referee try to put it back up, but it falls down the pole again, while clasped. The wrestlers works around it as much as they can, but so much of the match has now changed from just about the climbing up the pole, to getting the bandolero up and over the pole. It's silly - especially when you think about how you could just unstrap the belt from the pole. But...wrestling!
As for the action - it rules. It helps that all 4 dudes in the ring are awesome workers. Steve Williams is not at his peak yet, but his body is insane. I think about it every time I watch a Dr. Death match - if he had any charisma, he could have been the biggest wrestler of the 80s and 90s. Body/Look-wise, I think the only person who can touch his level is Brock Lesnar. That's elite company. The other 3 are amazing workers. Chavo throws a mean dropkick, Ted drops a bunch of fists. The match is about 15 minutes and never really lets up the pace. A crazy brawl, no technical holds, but lots of punching, kicking, back body drops, and the crowd is insane. Chavo gets the bandolero after Dr. Death drops it and the entire arena JUMPS up, screams unlike any wrestling match you've heard and Los Guerreros get the pin on DiBiase.
The caption says "caution: blood!" but I didn't see it. Maybe it's supposed to read "caution: butt!" because we get a lot of it; a full rear shot of DiBiase. Really fun match despite the silliness. If you watch, just pay attention to the arena, imagine yourself there and ignore the faults of the gimmick itself. Hoping to see more from these teams as I move forward. 3 stars.
Next Time: "20-year old jobber" Shawn Michaels, BARRY ORTON! & a 2-ring battle royal
